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This morning, when I went to open my bedroom door, a bucket of liquid suspended by a rope and trigger mechanism dumped on my head. The bucket was filled with urine. At first, I was wondering why God would dump urine on me and if he did, whose urine was it? God doesn't urinate. Then I remembered the security camera I set up and went to go check the footage. What I saw SHOCKED me.

I saw two humans, both wearing ninja hoods and black clothing go up to the cardboard I duct taped over the hole caused by the tossed brick and tear it off. They then went inside, carrying the supplies to make the urine dumping system and came back out a while later.

Are there ninjas in the US? I thought only Japan had ninjas. I didn't see the lights of a car in the footage, so I assume they just ran there with the supplies stored in scrolls using ninjitsu. I wondered if those same ninjas also gave me Super Mario Odyssey, graffitied my house, smashed my window and took a picture of those lesbians having sex. It seemed to make sense since ninjas could easily sneak into a house and take sex photos.

But then something hit me. Ninjas use ninja stars, not bricks. So it couldn't have been the ninjas that time. I personally think these ninjas have no connection to what happened the two previous days and were merely wandering the neighborhood, carrying prank supplies in scrolls to torment people.

I showed the footage to the police, but they said they likely wouldn't be able to do anything with such limited evidence of their identities. I am worried however because I doubt common cops could have a fighting chance against ninjas.

WHY IS EVERYONE MESSING WITH MY STUFF LATELY?! THE LESBIANS, GOD AND NOW NINJAS?!
This morning, when I went to open my bedroom door, a bucket of liquid suspended by a rope and trigger mechanism dumped on my head. The bucket was filled with urine. At first, I was wondering why God would dump urine on me and if he did, whose urine was it? God doesn't urinate. Then I remembered the security camera I set up and went to go check the footage. What I saw SHOCKED me.

I saw two humans, both wearing ninja hoods and black clothing go up to the cardboard I duct taped over the hole caused by the tossed brick and tear it off. They then went inside, carrying the supplies to make the urine dumping system and came back out a while later.

Are there ninjas in the US? I thought only Japan had ninjas. I didn't see the lights of a car in the footage, so I assume they just ran there with the supplies stored in scrolls using ninjitsu. I wondered if those same ninjas also gave me Super Mario Odyssey, graffitied my house, smashed my window and took a picture of those lesbians having sex. It seemed to make sense since ninjas could easily sneak into a house and take sex photos.

But then something hit me. Ninjas use ninja stars, not bricks. So it couldn't have been the ninjas that time. I personally think these ninjas have no connection to what happened the two previous days and were merely wandering the neighborhood, carrying prank supplies in scrolls to torment people.

I showed the footage to the police, but they said they likely wouldn't be able to do anything with such limited evidence of their identities. I am worried however because I doubt common cops could have a fighting chance against ninjas.

WHY IS EVERYONE MESSING WITH MY STUFF LATELY?! THE LESBIANS, GOD AND NOW NINJAS?!
Evil is a willful act committed by one sentient being to another that causes a level of harm that is equal to or greater than the benefit the acting sentient being gets for itself that has no permission from the victimized being in the case of equal harm and benefit.
Evil is a willful act committed by one sentient being to another that causes a level of harm that is equal to or greater than the benefit the acting sentient being gets for itself that has no permission from the victimized being in the case of equal harm and benefit.
God came back after graffiting my house and giving me a new copy of Super Mario Odyssey. This time, he gave me a message that almost seemed like mockery. Last night, I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of glass being violently shattered. I assumed it was probably nothing and went back to sleep.

But this morning, I woke up to find that one of my windows had been smashed and on the ground, there was a brick with a picture tied to it. I picked up the brick and looked at the picture. IT WAS A PICTURE OF THOSE LESBIANS CUDDLING NAKED IN BED! It also had a message saying: "Something you will never get to be a part of."

God must have given me this to see if I would be tempted by what I saw and go back to my sinful lifestyle, but I instead resisted my temptations and burned the picture while praying. I'm sure this made God smile. I can't wait to tell my new preacher about this.
This morning, when I went to open my bedroom door, a bucket of liquid suspended by a rope and trigger mechanism dumped on my head. The bucket was filled with urine. At first, I was wondering why God would dump urine on me and if he did, whose urine was it? God doesn't urinate. Then I remembered the security camera I set up and went to go check the footage. What I saw SHOCKED me.

I saw two humans, both wearing ninja hoods and black clothing go up to the cardboard I duct taped over the hole caused by the tossed brick and tear it off. They then went inside, carrying the supplies to make the urine dumping system and came back out a while later.

Are there ninjas in the US? I thought only Japan had ninjas. I didn't see the lights of a car in the footage, so I assume they just ran there with the supplies stored in scrolls using ninjitsu. I wondered if those same ninjas also gave me Super Mario Odyssey, graffitied my house, smashed my window and took a picture of those lesbians having sex. It seemed to make sense since ninjas could easily sneak into a house and take sex photos.

But then something hit me. Ninjas use ninja stars, not bricks. So it couldn't have been the ninjas that time. I personally think these ninjas have no connection to what happened the two previous days and were merely wandering the neighborhood, carrying prank supplies in scrolls to torment people.

I showed the footage to the police, but they said they likely wouldn't be able to do anything with such limited evidence of their identities. I am worried however because I doubt common cops could have a fighting chance against ninjas.

WHY IS EVERYONE MESSING WITH MY STUFF LATELY?! THE LESBIANS, GOD AND NOW NINJAS?!

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:iconspitefulgoblinlord:
SpitefulGoblinLord Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Today I'm gonna talk about something I very much scorn and detest - chr*stianity, or as I like to call it for shortness and mockery, xnity. Yes, I scorn it so much that I loathe to even write its name properly. And for a pedantic, slightly OCD'ed grammer nerd like me this is fucking saying something.
Since I indeed scorn and detest it, this is going to be quite a hating rant. Take that as a fair warning. I'm not a positive person when it comes to fucking xnity. In fact, I'm a very negative, cynical and evil one instead.

Oh, also, if you happen to be a xtian and this rant offends you - I'm so sorry!!! ....No, wait. I'm not. Not. One. Bit.


Recent events gave me quite an occasion to ponder over this scorned subject, xnity. I got involved in an argument (not quite unwillingly, to tell you the truth) with a very brainwashed xtian regarding this gross of a religion, and I'm now going to share some of my impressions with you. Be my guest to leave right now if you believe this could rouse your indignation, because if it does I seriously don't care. Nor do I care about any reproaches that may follow.


So, I have been thinking about xnity.... Strange indeed, but I tend to do that thing, thinking, to quite a lot of random stuff in my spare time because I'm a strange individual who has some actual brains in their skull and likes using its twisted jelly-like tissue for what it has evolved to do. Thinking is good for your health, even if it's not always easy. Why is it good.... ummm, let me think, because every single achievement you've ever managed in your life is thanks to thinking. Because every single achievement of humankind, in the world, is only due to thinking. Thinking is what moves you, and all of humanity for that matter, forward. The only such thing. I'm very sure you all know that perfectly well. Because you should.
Thinking however is one of the most important and fundamental things banned by xnity. They won't directly tell you so. It might give away their actual game. But let's think logically for a change. You are told to believe. No, you are demanded to believe. If you don't believe, you're bad, you're very, very bad. Judging by their compulsion to believe and their equal reluctance to doubt, and even fear of it, I'd guess that if you doubt - be it even only a tiny little bit - then you are bad too, and you go to Hell. Because doubt is a sign of thinking, it's an unmistakable sign of rationality and reason, of a wake mind. Highly undesirable. What is the conclusion - well, the rational minds clearly belong to Hell. Kinda funny thought....
Now, for sake of truth, I must state I am religious myself and I'm neither ashamed nor afraid to admit it. I do believe in a lot of things I don't have a firm proof of. And yet I put everything under thorough analysis, regardless of where it comes from. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can become part of my beliefs without first passing an approvement by my mind, which likes to think very, very much, to examine all possibilities and from many different angles. So even if I'm no stranger to religious faith, I still strive to retain my reason and I absolutely NEVER believe something blindly just because someone said it or wrote it somewhere. Regardless of whom that someone is and where they spoke or wrote. On the contrary, blind faith is the xtian way, it is considered virtue by xnity, and that alone is a testimony of their attempt to eradicate the thinking mind from people's lifes. Too bad some people allow that actually happen, because everybody was born with a thinking mind. There's nothing more inquisitive and intelligent than a child. If later that child turns into a mindless xtian sheep this is only because its mind has been dulled, crippled and mutilated, by gross preachings.

It's yet an entirely different topic what are the virtues of a forcible blind faith, because they have this irritating habit of mistaking blindness for strength and righteousness of faith. Which brings me right to my next ranting point. The delusion of righteousness.
It is xtian "logic" is that since they believe in something without any doubt, this alone is a firm and undeniable proof of their faith being truthful and right. So, essentially, you turn your back on reason and shut your eyes for anything different from what you're been preached, you start believing in it blindly - and this miraculously makes it more true than anything else in the world. Well, of course it does, you have already shut your eyes for everything else pretending it to be untrue or nonexistent, and reason is not there for you anymore to prove you wrong and shake you out of your oblivion. This is a self-sufficient delusion. It doesn't need external support. The xtians' own inaptitude to think reasonably is a source of strength for their mind-dulling belief. Through and through a vicious circle. But they won't stop there.
It is the xtian belief that their b*ble (always sounded like "babble" to me) is the only and absolute truth. As a direct consequence of them having willingly blinded themselves. The fact that said b*ble contradicts itself doesn't matter. The fact that science has repeatedly proven it firmly and perfectly wrong on many points already, that matters even less. Science is probably just a group fantasy of weirdos or some form of mass hallucination. Whatever is proven scientifically and contradicts their precious b*ble is discarded as false or a lie or.... I don't even know what else. And you'd think that, if their g*d had really created the Universe - the Universe being the subject of study of science by the way - his own holy book should rather contain some truths about said Universe. But it doesn't! It contains a bunch of poorly sewn lies. And, because in a xtian's rudiment of a mind the b*ble cannot contain lies, if science does not agree to it, then it's science that's wrong. And they truly believe that! Only, science is not a matter of belief, you stupid devolved prats! Science deals with FACT, and fact doesn't give a shit whether you believe in it, it simply IS. Now, every now and then the truth - the scientifically proven truth, a.k.a. actual truth - becomes so obvious that even xtians cannot pretend anymore it is a lie. This is the time when they take a step back, reluctantly. Like, for example, the Earth is no longer flat. Not anymore. After all we've flown into space and we've seen it from there - and it's pretty spherical indeed. So, good thing you did ackowledge that the Earth is round, heh? And yet, didn't you claim right the opposite a mere few centuries ago? Seems like by the time mankind made it into space the Earth has decided to curve itself into a ball. Interesting behavior for a planet. Or, which is a much simpler explanation, turns out that the xtians - and indirectly, through his holy book, so has then their g*d - have simply been lying to people. And isn't lie a sin? Isn't it supposed to be bad? If so, why is your g*d's own holy book full of it? Why don't you answer to that simple question, you complacent self-sufficient wretches? Because truth kicked your ass, and you still keep preaching the same shit. But they won't stop there either.
Now, since the b*ble is the only and absolute truth, quite naturally xtians are thoroughly convinced that they are the only ones who truly know the truthful truth. This is IMMENSELY self-righteous, insolent and impertinent, especially since said "truthful truth" has, as pointed out already, been denied by actual science multiple times. Furthermore, unless I'm very much mistaken, insolence and impertinence happen to be quite the opposite of humbleness and humility - which they proclaim as some of their highest virtues. Virtues. Yeah. Right. That's an explicit evidence that said virtues are very conditional. In fact, humbleness and humility are only applied in order to sheep people out. Not in other situations, such as allowing "unbelievers" to think and believe whatever they want, in other words - humbly leave them be. Because in addition to being utterly convinced in their righteousness against all reason, xtians believe it is their innate right and even sacred duty to force their beliefs and "truth" upon others. Even against their will. Because, you know, the others are so mislead and deceived that they can never realize how woefully wrong they are, while the good xtians are only trying to save them. So, you insolent hypocritical bastards, you are allowed to act against a person's will just because you believe you are saving them? This is so utterly disgusting, that I find it hard to word. Terms like insolence and impertinence come off miserably weak to describe it.
I won't even go on about what this kind of insolence has got them doing in ages past. Although I could. I could go on about it for hours. Humble peaceful human-loving xtians. Same ones who slaughtered American Indians, burned witches and tortured innocent people for centuries.

How about love? Let's talk about love, for FUCK'S sake!
All you need is love. Love is the most beautiful thing, it'll save the world. Right? WRONG! Why, because love is a sin. Didn't you know that? It's ugly, dirty, foul and obscene. This even rhymes, you can turn it into a song, but not quite like Beatles. You'll tell me now that there's difference between love and sex. Yes, that's true, very, very true. But only a fool would deny that there is indeed a very close, immediate connection between the two. Having that in mind, the paradox of the xtian way is that while love is most worshipped, sex is most detested and sinful. Given its way, a xtian would have love, and life generally, completely devoid of sex. Oh, if only reproduction without sex were possible. One could wonder, of course, if their g*d created life and invented its ways, why did he engineer it so that in order for it to continue its existence it must involve itself into such a loathsome sin as sex. Doesn't make any sense to me. To the contrary, many would argue that sex is amongst the most delightful and positive experiences in life. Oh, what a shame. Feel free to agree or not with me but without it both love and life would be kinda mutilated. As they would, for that matter, be without any other simple natural pleasure. Pleasure in general is branded as something bad, a temptation that has to be avoided, for some obscure reasons. I don't know about you, but for me the pleasures of life are rather what makes me feel alive and happy that I live. That alludes that life itself is a sin, doesn't it? Yeah, perhaps it is. At least then it makes sense that its reproduction is sinful. Only, if life is a sin, and sin is bad, I'd rather be evil, dammit. Otherwise what is the point of your fucking world?!
But let's go back to love and its delights. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that love is all about sex, definitely not. However, sex is the direct extension and the very physical expression of love. So, having that in mind, what do xtians preach? You are allowed to love, but not express it. Not even think about it. Unless, first, you've performed some silly ritual in which their g*d is supposed *to approve* of your feelings or whatever. Hmm, and I thought love was the most good thing ever, then why would it need approval? Why would consuming it be bad? More and more stuff that make no sense.
Not all love is of that romantic sinful kind, of course. There's other kinds of love, like the one between friends or the one between parents and their children, etc. Now, it's probably just because of my reluctance to even consider the perspective of being snogged by an alleged almighty cosmic prat of a divinity, but I gather that the phenomenon sold as "g*d's love* is supposed to be of the latter non-romantic type. Sort of the parent-child kind of thing. Allegedly. Alright, so let's indulge ourselves in this vile vice of viewing things through and through. I've been told g*d's love is (supposed to be) unconditional. (I won't delve into the obvious problem of unconditional love in a world full of wretches that only screw up the lifes of fellow human beings and other species for them.) In other words, whatever kind of an evil-minded xtian-contemptious g*d-hating villainous Satanist I am, their g*d still loves me. Alright, but if I don't "repent" for "my sins" - a very prominent one of them being my unbelief and hatred for him - your g*d is still lovingly tossing me into Hell. (I won't delve into this being my least concern, either.) So.... wait. Wait a minute. Give me a break. So that I can fathom this thoroughly. Am I to understand that, in his Great Almighty Love, your xtian g*d cares more about whether I believe in him, whether I am willing to be his mindless obedient sheep, than about what kind of a person I am? Is this his idea of love? Demanding belief and worship from those you claim to be loving unconditionally? Even a cynic like me couldn't twist the definition of love so far. Furthermore, in his Great Love and Infinite Wisdom g*d is supposed to have given me my free will (total bullshit that one) - so that I can do anything I want. In other words, I am free to make my own choices.... but ONLY as long as I do exactly what he wants me to do. Otherwise - eternal torment. Oooooh, what an awesome kind of a choice that is. This IS the beating essence of freedom! So THAT is his idea of love. Beauuuuuuuuuuuutiful, totally selfless and infinitely wise. Thanks but no thanks.

In fact, seeing that last part from aside, it gives me this very persistent and peculiar feeling, and it's itching for me to share it with you as well. Let's say I believe the xtian b*bleshit, for just about one hypothetical minute.
So. Your g*d creates the world, life, humanity, me as well.... gives everybody free will.... so that we can live as we want, make our own choices.... but he does give us his commandments too.... and then stands aside and watches. Maybe crunches on some divine cosmic popcorn. So, the world he created himself, populated by the people he created himself - every aspect of them obviously must be his own invention.... Now, those who disregard the free will he has given them himself and live obediently as he wants them to instead - they are rewarded for eternity. Those who do not - they are punished for eternity. Although, if he is the maker of all things, what can be the reason for people to turn sinful - other than himself?! I mean, he's the maker of all things, isn't he?!? If people go wrong, that kinda means he must have messed up somewhere, doesn't it? But it's them who get punished.... because of him messing up. And why? Just to serve his whims. So it turns out that he created people who would keep going wrong in his eyes just so that he will keep punishing them....
.... Seems like I'm not good at hypothetically believing. Your g*d must have made me so. *shrugs*
Really.... what kind of a SICK game is that? Those are the life of people, ffs, that you believe your g*d is toying with. And you praise and worship him for that. Logic says.... no, OBJECTIVITY says, that if your g*d, as described in your very own b*ble, were really to exist, he'd be one damn egocentrical self-infatuated remorseless sick perverted bastard. All that happens to be right the opposite of what his own holy book preaches as virtues, no?
Case closed.


I could go on for ages like that. There's a lot more left to say indeed, many subtopics left untouched.... But let's call it a day, shall we. All of this, and much more, is really very obvious. You only need give it a little simple thought. If you're willing to, all the better for you. To my unrich experience with the pathetic idiots I'm talking about, they won't give the truth a thought and won't acknowledge its existence even if it hits them at 200 km/h on the highway. This is how blind they are.

Now.... It is true I am waging my own personal war on xnity. My intolerance for it goes deeper and more absolute by the day. Because of everything aforesaid. And more. Much, much more. I hate it to the verges of theoretical possibility. That doesn't mean I hate xtians, not necessarily. Although I often happen to. But I really just hate their gross religion. I hate its ways, its preachings and b*bleshit, I cannot stand any of it. And I absolutely hate what it does to THEM and what it turns THEM into. I do hate it that they refuse reason, that they refuse to open their eyes as though something really terrible would happen to them if they do. Indeed - they might behold the truth! *shudders*
For this, I will never stop ranting to the world against it. I won't stop until it is eradicated from the face of Earth completely. I probably won't see that bright day dawn. But then, da Vinci never saw a machine fly in the air either, and that didn't stop him being a dreamer.
In that sense, what makes me happy, are airplanes.
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:iconretrospriteresources:
RetroSpriteResources Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018
Over 3,000 words, wow. This is the longest DA comment I've ever gotten.

You should know that not all Christians think like this. Some of us would like to prove God exists using logic and disprove theories like evolution with science.
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:iconspitefulgoblinlord:
SpitefulGoblinLord Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
You counted all of the words!? XD oh geez that must have taken a long time!

WTF are you even talking about here?
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:iconretrospriteresources:
RetroSpriteResources Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018
No, there's a program that let's me see how many words there are in something.

You've never seen anyone try to use reason to prove God exists?
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(1 Reply)
:iconadam-walker:
Adam-Walker Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2018  Student Writer
I told you it was huge...
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(1 Reply)
:iconadam-walker:
Adam-Walker Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  Student Writer
:O God almighty, that is huge!
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:iconspitefulgoblinlord:
SpitefulGoblinLord Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, I know.....but hopefully it gets the point across.
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:iconadam-walker:
Adam-Walker Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2018  Student Writer
It will. And not just one point but thirty points.
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(1 Reply)
:iconlittle-vlad:
Little-Vlad Featured By Owner May 26, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*sees you're supporting Trump, says there's two genders, hates Satan, anti-communist, anti-feminist*

... I'm probably you're worse nightmare :>
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:iconretrospriteresources:
Why did you favorite the story of those lesbian women torturing me?
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