This morning, when I went to open my bedroom door, a bucket of liquid suspended by a rope and trigger mechanism dumped on my head. The bucket was filled with urine. At first, I was wondering why God would dump urine on me and if he did, whose urine was it? God doesn't urinate. Then I remembered the security camera I set up and went to go check the footage. What I saw SHOCKED me.
I saw two humans, both wearing ninja hoods and black clothing go up to the cardboard I duct taped over the hole caused by the tossed brick and tear it off. They then went inside, carrying the supplies to make the urine dumping system and came back out a while later.
Are there ninjas in the US? I thought only Japan had ninjas. I didn't see the lights of a car in the footage, so I assume they just ran there with the supplies stored in scrolls using ninjitsu. I wondered if those same ninjas also gave me Super Mario Odyssey, graffitied my house, smashed my window and took a picture of those lesbians having sex. It seemed to make sense since ninjas could easily sneak into a house and take sex photos.
But then something hit me. Ninjas use ninja stars, not bricks. So it couldn't have been the ninjas that time. I personally think these ninjas have no connection to what happened the two previous days and were merely wandering the neighborhood, carrying prank supplies in scrolls to torment people.
I showed the footage to the police, but they said they likely wouldn't be able to do anything with such limited evidence of their identities. I am worried however because I doubt common cops could have a fighting chance against ninjas.
WHY IS EVERYONE MESSING WITH MY STUFF LATELY?! THE LESBIANS, GOD AND NOW NINJAS?!